Coping With The Holidays When Experiencing Grief

Coping With the Holidays When Experiencing Grief

Posted by BAYADA Home Health Care

Now that the holiday season has begun, it’s important to recognize that there are many who may not feel particularly festive. After losing a loved one, it can be hard to imagine entering the holiday season when there is someone missing. BAYADA Hospice Psychosocial Manager Molly Bull, MSW, offers the following tips:

• Know that it’s ok to do things differently. Some people may find comfort in following family traditions. Others may find the thought of following those traditions without their loved one too painful. Both approaches are completely valid. Since different family members may fall into different categories, it’s important to have open communication and be respectful of each other’s points of view during this time of difficulty and transition.

• Have a plan. Difficult situations can be made more challenging when they catch you off-guard. Even though it still will not be easy, if you know what to expect, you have the opportunity to prepare emotionally. Once you have made a decision, do not create emotional unrest by second-guessing yourself.

• Ask for help. There are people who want to support you but don’t know what you need. Here are some situations where you can provide concrete ways for friends to step in:
• You want to have a tree, but need someone else to be the one to decorate it.
• You could use another set of hands to help bake cookies with the kids.
• You have decided to make a dish, or possibly the main meal, for the holiday dinner, but would prefer someone else deal with the crowds at the grocery store.

• Determine what is:
  • Needed to be done.
  • Nice to do.
  • Nuts to do. 
    
    For example, you need to eat dinner; it would be nice to have dinner at a family member’s house; it would be nuts to host a five course meal for 30 people. Focus on the “need to do” and if you feel comfortable, sprinkle in a few things that are “nice to do.” Do not attempt the “nuts to do.”

• Take care of yourself. You will need your rest to help you cope with the physically and emotionally draining times. Your body and mind can also function better through exercising and eating a balanced diet.

http://blog.bayada.com/cares/coping-with-the-holidays-when-experiencing-grief

Holiday & Family

Holidays and Family

By AMBER | Published: DECEMBER 4, 2014

I hope this “most wonderful time of the year” finds you happy and healthy!  Here we are in the middle of the holidays and 2015 is right around the corner!  Where does the time go?!  It seems to go by faster and faster each year.

This year was definitely a transitional year for my family.  Some big changes and big decisions were made with regards to my father-in-law.  My husband is the oldest of seven and also has two step-siblings.  So, needless to say, getting nine people, ten including my father-in-law, to agree on anything is a challenge.

My father-in-law’s decline started with my mother-in-law’s passing about two and a half years ago.  They had been married for nearly 30 years and they had planned for him to die first.  My mother-in-law was the healthy one, the active one, and everyone was sure she would live to 100.  Unfortunately, God had another plan for her.

She took care of my father-in-law and kept him somewhat active and social.  When she was gone, he sat in his chair.  He was depressed, especially around holidays.  We all tried to get him out, family came to visit in intervals, but he just didn’t seem to have the will to live.  Well, let me be really honest, he SAID he didn’t want to live.  He didn’t take care of himself, didn’t care to see anyone and wasn’t eating properly to keep up his strength.  He ended up in the hospital.

He had been there before, but this time, he was really weak and everyone decided the best thing for him was to go into an assisted living community.  He was not thrilled about it, but interestingly enough, he understood that he had put himself in that situation and realized that he really couldn’t live by himself.  And we would later find out, he really didn’t want to take care of himself.

He had options to stay in Colorado, or go back to Maryland where he is from.  His daughter and son live in Maryland, and so does his sister.  Amazingly enough, everyone agreed that Maryland was where he should go.  He was a little reluctant, but we gave him the option to come back if he really didn’t like it.  He was there for two months and decided to stay.  We have been back to visit and he is doing much better.

He has had some ups and downs, but for the most part he is doing as good as can be expected.  He is fortunate enough to have a decent retirement income, and he also was able to take advantage of his VA Aid and Attendance benefits.  Which, every veteran should sign up for any and all benefits they have earned.

A lot of the older generation don’t think they need it or don’t want the “help”, but anyone who knows me knows I am a huge proponent of Veterans using the benefits that they earned and deserve.  They served our country and gave of themselves as did their family.  They EARNED it and DESERVE every single benefit they are eligible for.  So please, please take advantage of those benefits.  Getting off my soapbox now….

I share this experience because I know our family is not alone in this experience.  I went through this with my dad a few years ago and my mom and I have already talked about her wishes when she is no longer able to live alone.

As the holidays are here and some of us are spending more time with family we haven’t seen in a while.  This is a good time to not only visit and enjoy time with your aging loved ones, be observant and look for the little, and big, signs there may be a problem developing.

If you do notice a situation that you feel needs to be discussed.  Choose the appropriate time and broach the subject in a non-threatening way.  There are some great resources under our resources tab on ParentYourParents.com.

Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas.  Enjoy and embrace your loved one’s this holiday season, have have a Happy and Blessed New Year.

ParentYourParents.com ~ Helping You Help Your Aging Parents 

New Grant Program Delivers Alzheimer’s Care to Families in Need

When comedian and actor Seth Rogen married actress Lauren Miller, he married into the “Alzheimer’s family.” You see, Lauren’s mother was diagnosed with the condition a few years ago, at age 55. Rogen quickly learned what a toll Alzheimer’s can take on both the affected person and the family caregivers. As he once told CNN, "I think until you see it firsthand, it's kind of hard to conceive of how brutal it is. Until I saw it, you just don't get kind of how heartbreaking it can be."

Because of their very personal experience with Alzheimer’s, Rogen and Miller created a movement called Hilarity for Charity^®. The movement aims to increase awareness of Alzheimer’s and raise funds to benefit the Alzheimer’s Association. Hilarity for Charity has also partnered with Home Instead Senior Care^® to provide grants for in-home Alzheimer’s care at no cost to families caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s or other dementias. Locally owned Home Instead Senior Care franchises across the U.S. and Canada have also pledged more than 37,000 hours of in-home care services, valued at $740,000 to supplement the monetary funding provided by Hilarity for Charity for this program.

The Alzheimer’s and Dementia Care Relief Grant program delivers much-needed help to families throughout the U.S. and Canada. All you have to do to be considered for a grant is fill out a grant application to be considered for a grant.

The grant program includes a free home care consultation so you can learn more about how these services can benefit your loved one (and you, as a family caregiver!). Alzheimer’s care services funded through the grant program will be delivered by a highly skilled and trained CAREGiver^SM. Here are a few of the many ways professional in-home Alzheimer’s care can benefit your loved one:

• Allows the senior to remain safe at home
•  Encourages engagement
•  Provides nutritious meals
•  Creates social interaction
•  Provides mind-stimulating activities
•  Tracks changing behaviors
•  Honors who the senior was earlier in life
•  Supports the family

These Alzheimer’s care grants make it possible for you to get some time for yourself—to recharge your caregiving battery—while enjoying the peace-of-mind that comes from knowing your loved one is receiving top-notch care.

You do not need to demonstrate financial need to apply for an Alzheimer’s care grant. Hilarity for Charity and Home Instead Senior Care want to bring complimentary high-quality in-home care to as many people as possible. Anyone caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s is eligible to apply. Apply to receive an Alzheimer’s care grant today.

Alzheimer’s is the opposite of funny. But receiving free respite care may help put a smile back on your face.

Visit us online @ http://www.caregiverstress.com/dementia-alzheimers-disease/new-grant-program-delivers-alzheimer%E2%80%99s-care-to-families-in-need/

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ALZHEIMER'S EXPERTS LIVE CHAT! End of Life Conversations: How to Discuss Difficult Topics with Your Loved Ones

Live Online Chats with Alzheimer's Experts

Upcoming Live Chats:

End of Life Conversations: How to Discuss Difficult Topics with Your Loved One

Live chat with expert Dr. Amy D'Aprix

December 18, 2014 at 5:00 pm EST

Register Now to Attend and:
—receive a free Alzheimer’s emergency kit
—get a chance to win a caregiver package

• Get advice from Dr. Amy and other caregivers on ways to approach difficult conversations
• Learn about Home Instead’s Action Plan for Successful Aging
• Share experiences you’ve had discussing topics around aging like finances, living choices, health, and end of life

About the Expert

Dr. Amy D’Aprix, is an expert in aging, retirement, and caregiving, and a frequent guest on radio and television programs. She has authored two books on caregiving and friendship, has written numerous articles for various media publications and is highly sought-after as a trainer and speaker throughout North America.

We invite you to share your thoughts and experiences with respect to this important topic. To that end, please note that any response you elect to submit may be republished by Home Instead, Inc. and/or any of its independently owned and operated Home Instead Senior Care® franchise offices (collectively, “Home Instead”). By submitting your response, you irrevocably grant Home Instead permission and authorization to republish your response, in complete or partial form, in connection with any works that Home Instead may create, and waive any right to approve or inspect such republication. While we would welcome and appreciate your feedback and insight, please do not submit your response if you do not agree to these conditions.

What to Consider NOW When Hiring Home Care Services

Home care agencies can provide in-home care caregivers to consumers, or consumers can hire caregivers either privately or through the use of a registry, which refer self-employed caregivers. Home care agencies and consumers alike have traditionally been exempted by law from paying overtime to the caregivers they employ.

Several new laws will NOW (01/01/2015) impact that affordability. Family Home Care’s President, Donald Irish, was recently featured in the Council on Aging – Orange County Answers Guide. To read the full article click here.

Family Home Care is the legal employer of our entire caregiving team. Health professionals agree that the most important factor in selecting an in-home care agency is to select a company that services as the legal employer of the caregiver and thereby carries the associated legal and financial responsibilities.

The employer model home care agency shields families from legal liability and financial risk. Some home care companies hide the fact that they do not legally employee their caregivers, because this single factor has such broad and far reaching effects.

When you choose Family Home Care for your in-home care needs you can expect the following from our caregivers:
E-Verified W-2 Employees
All Caregivers are Background Checked & have Fingerprint Clearance through the State
Verified Drug & Alcohol Free Workplace
CPR Certified & TB Screened
Previous In-Home Caregiving Experience Verified
Provided with Ongoing & Specialized Training

·         In-House Skills Development Lab

·         80+ Hour Foundational Caregiving Training Program

·         Alzheimer’s & Memory Care Training

·         Hospice & Palliative Care Training

Covered by Extensive Safety Net

·         Workers’ Compensation Insurance

·         Bonded Against Theft/Dishonesty

·         General & Umbrella Liability Coverage

·         Compatibility Guarantee

Driving/Transport Services Provided
Caregiver’s License & Motor Vehicle Insurance Verified
Caregiver’s MVR/DMV Driving History Verified

Multilingual Care Team

·         Please inquire with your specific need

PLEASE ASK FOR AND EXPTEC THESE STANDARDS WHEN SELECTING AN IN-HOME CARE AGENCY.

Visit us online @ www.familyinhomecare.com