Home Instead Senior Care Addresses: "Family Won't Help With Mom? 6 Strategies to Help Reduce the Drama"

Family Won't Help with Mom?
6 Strategies to Reduce the Drama

Chances are you spend a good deal of your life planning for the future. You plan your career path. You plan for retirement. But you may never have planned on becoming a family caregiver.

If you’re like many children of senior parents, you became a caregiver in small increments, over the course of time. Maybe it began by providing transportation after Dad gave up the car keys or by making phone calls to the insurance company to straighten out a health claim. As time went on, those favors likely became more frequent and you found yourself providing more and more care until you realized you were spending a significant portion of your free time taking care of Mom and Dad—perhaps much more time than your siblings spent pitching in.

Few people become family caregivers by sitting down with the whole family and creating a plan that covers the who, what, when, where and how of caregiving.

Unfortunately, this lack of planning can lead to family drama and sibling resentment. In discussions within the Caregiver Stress Facebook community, caregivers frequently express frustration over their inability to get other family members to help with Mom or Dad’s care. They often say they feel they became the primary caregiver by default and now shoulder the burden alone.

If you count yourself in that group—or if you want to avoid the sibling squabbles that can arise over family caregiving—take heart. It is possible, to a certain extent, to begin the caregiving conversation over again. These six tips can help you step back from any existing family drama over caregiving and create a plan to help you all move forward in harmony.

1. Start planning well in advance, if possible

It is never too late (or too early) to start the conversation. Even if you are well into the caregiving journey, you can access planning aids to help you move forward with more help from your siblings.

The 50/50 Rule® program, developed by Home Instead Senior Care®, offers resources for developing senior care plans that involve all of the aging family member’s children. Try to have your first conversations on this subject when the eldest sibling turns 40 years old, and continue to talk about how to share the caregiving before your parent even needs it. This way, no one sibling will “back in to” the caregiving role without the support of other family members. 

2. Look at the big picture ~ For some families, the caregiving conversation begins with details: “I can’t possibly help take care of Mom because all of my kids are enrolled in extracurricular activities,” or “I live five hours away, and I’m not sacrificing my vacation time to fly in and take care of Dad.”

Instead of starting the caregiving conversation by diving into the details of everyone’s life, try taking a step back to look at the bigger picture. What types of support does your loved one need right now? What types of care will he or she require in the future? Once you have identified your loved one’s needs, then you can begin a conversation that gets into the details of which sibling can provide which types of support.

3. Take the emotions out of the conversation as much as possible

Siblings share an intimate personal history that sometimes includes baggage: hard feelings, old hurts. Try to set these emotions aside and deal matter-of-factly with your parent’s needs in the moment—and going forward. Keep the focus on achieving goals, not on your family dynamics. When you approach the topic of shared caregiving from a perspective of “here’s what Mom and Dad need, now how can we all provide it?”, the conversation may go more smoothly.

If you find it impossible to have these conversations without tempers flaring, consider hiring a mediator. These professionals can help bring everyone to a resolution without the hurt feelings that may accompany a do-it-yourself approach.

4. Match caregiving tasks with each person’s talents and abilities

Your older brother may balk at helping with caregiving if he is expected to bathe and toilet your mother. Your petite younger sister may not be willing to wrestle Dad’s walker into the car in order to drive him to appointments. Instead of insisting each sibling provide the same types of care, try to match tasks with each person’s abilities and interests. Perhaps your sister who lives far away would be willing to pay Mom’s bills and deal with other financial issues. Or maybe your brother who lives nearby would be happy to take Dad to his doctor appointments. There are many ways to divvy up the caregiving pie.

5. Accept that one person may always provide a disproportionate amount of care

You can’t force your siblings to help. That’s a simple truth. And even when you do get family members to commit to help with caregiving, you still may find you provide a disproportionate amount of that care. Try to come to terms with the fact that this is normal in most family caregiving situations. Acceptance may be easier in the long run than constantly feeling resentful.

If you feel undervalued for the amount of care you provide, try investigating ways to get paid for family caregiving. According to AARP, there are a number of methods that allow your parent to compensate you for the help you provide, including direct payment and tapping a long-term care insurance policy. Even if your loved one can’t afford to pay you much, sometimes receiving a token payment can help you feel valued.

6. Take care of your own emotional needs ~ High stress, isolation and depression are real dangers of caregiving, especially if you add in family conflict over caregiving issues. Although it can be hard to find time for self-care, be sure to make your own needs a priority. Even five minutes alone in the fresh air, or half an hour with a good book, can help you feel refreshed and recharged. If possible, hire a professional caregiver occasionally so you can get some time to focus on yourself.

Visit us online @ http://www.caregiverstress.com/

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Attention Spouses and Children ~ Caring For A Loved One? Join our Caregiving Conference This Saturday

What is a Senior Living Advisor?

When you want to invest your money wisely, you call a Financial Advisor. When searching for a home, you call a realtor. When you are not feeling well, you call your Doctor. When you have legal concerns, you call an Attorney. Who do you turn to when you want to ensure you are making the best decision about one of life’s most important transitions pertaining to how and where you or a loved one should spend remaining retirement years? Typically, when something changes with you or a loved ones needs you probably turn to a phone book or internet search. Then upon narrowing down options via those sources you begin to make calls and schedule appointments with those contacts. This can be very time consuming and if you aren’t sure what questions you should ask or what to look for, your conclusion of which is the best option may be one you later regret. When making a decision about long term health care needs during retirement years as you or a loved one are aging and becoming more dependent on others, you should contact a Senior Living Advisor. A Senior Living Advisor can provide you with an insider’s perspective on Senior Living options in your area.

A Senior Living Advisor is a great resource which will save you time, money, hassle and worry. An experienced Senior Living Advisor will be able to provide you with information on which are the best options for Independent Living, Assisted Living, Memory Care, Group Homes, Adult Daycare, Respite Care, Home Care, Home Health, Skilled Nursing, Rehabilitation, Hospice, Financial Options, Veterans Solutions, Medicaid, Elder Law Attorneys, Real Estate Agents, Estate Sale Planners, Moving Assistance and Geriatric Care Managers. A large percentage of clients a Senior Living Advisor is assisting have already made a decision on one or more types of senior living options and aren’t happy with the ones they chose. They realize how time consuming it is to research thoroughly and that their knowledge about senior living options is very limited. Senior Living Advisors have worked closely with businesses in the area for many years and are aware of which will be a great fit for you or a loved one after providing you with an assessment.

Not only can your Senior Living Advisor provide you with an Assessment and give you the options that are best for your situation, they also can schedule appointments for you. provide transportation, accompany you on the appointments andensure an excellent  solution is provided for the needs that have arisen.

For more information on this topic contact Louis Johnson or Kelley Rogers, who are Senior Living Advisors for Senior One Source.  With more than 10 years of experience, Senior One Source Advisor’s have already done the research and know which options can be trusted to provide a better quality of life for you or a loved one. By allowing us to guide you, we are saving you time, money, hassle & worry. Call a Senior Living Advisor today for Free Cost Estimates, Advice and Health Assessments! To find out more about Senior One Source visit www.SeniorOneSource.net.

MO MedTrans, LLC ~ Are you a Taxi Cab Company?

Are you a Taxi/Cab Company?

Here is an answer to another question we get asked frequently. An answer that will shed light on who we are and how we operate, as well as certain things that make us unique:

We are not a Taxi/Cab Company

We are different in many ways, and more specifically in how we are licensed and the level of service we provide:

• We are licensed as a livery service.
• Our trips are not metered. We let our customers know how much it would cost them beforehand, and they agree to the price upfront. This gives them peace of mind; a meter keeps running and charging for traffic delays, it’s running even while a taxi vehicle is not moving.
• Our assisted transportation services are door-through-door, hand-to-hand, and bedside-to-bedside – while a traditional taxi provides curb-to-curb service. This means a taxi driver expects the customer to be waiting outside on the sidewalk by the curb, and the customer will be dropped and left at the curb – while we assist customers based on their needs and preferences.
• We can transport customers who must lay flat during a trip. We provide stretcher bedside-to-bedside service. This requires specialized equipment and training.
• We are licensed to supply Oxygen.
• Unlike a taxi drivers, who are independent contractors, our drivers are employees of the company.
• Our drivers do not expect to receive tips.
• You can not hail our vehicles like you do a taxi.
• Our drivers  have to be CPR/First Aid certified, and they also have to undergo pre-employment DOT physical exam and DOT drug screening.
• Our drivers must obtain a DPS fingerprint card.

We are not an Ambulance either

While we are at it, it’s worth distinguishing between our services and those of an ambulance. The fundamental difference is that we do NOT provide emergency medical transportation. This means, we do not provide any medical monitoring during a trip, nor do we carry any medical equipment in our vehicles. Our main focus is non-emergency medical transportation; unlike ambulances we do not have EMTs working for us. We fully comply with Arizona law; we do not take customers to the emergency room (ER) and we do not transport customers who have IV’s, trachs (from tracheotomy) or PEG tubes. Per Arizona Statute 36-2223, they must be transported using an ambulance for non-emergency purposes, and even if they are stable.

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Always remember to call 911 in case of an emergency

To Market, To Market

Posted by Mahnaz Pourian, August 24, 2015

We’re guessing that just about anyone who’s ever shopped at a farmers’ market has experienced the joy of bringing home gorgeous, fresh, locally grown produce only to, about a week later, feel the guilt of having let it go to waste because they simply didn’t have the time or energy or inspiration to do anything with it.

Which is a shame, because not only do farmers’ markets help promote sustainability and support the local economy, but they increase access to fresh, nutritious food for everyone (including, in many cases, people receiving SNAP and WIC assistance).

Rather than forego what can be a fun and very positive summer and fall tradition, here are some ways to make the most of your farmers’ market experience.

Start small and safe: If you’re not a regular visitor, or you don’t really experiment much in the kitchen, hold off on buying mass quantities of anything or produce that looks exotic and interesting but you’re not sure how to prepare it. Sure, that rainbow chard is a show-stopper but what does one do with it? (You could always try this.) Instead, go with what you know, and only buy how much you can realistically use over a few days – some heirloom tomatoes for a BLT, perhaps, or radishes to eat with butter from a local creamery.

But don’t be afraid to ask: If something catches your eye and you really want to try it, just ask. Food producers are passionate about their products and they want to get you excited, too. They are often happy to offer free samples or engage you in a conversation about their food. They may even provide recipe suggestions.

Mix and match: If you do wound up with leftovers, think about how you can combine them to create a healthy meal. Zucchini, corn eggplant, and beans can be thrown into a pot with other items to make great summer vegetable stew. Farm fresh eggs can be whisked with peppers and greens like spinach and kale for a delicious omelet. You can top pizza or pasta with all of the above… and, of course, tomatoes and herbs go with just about anything.

Share the wealth: Another way to use up farmers’ market produce is to give it away. Maybe a friend or neighbor can’t get out to the farmers’ market but they still long for the fresh flavors of summer – that tomato you need to use or lose might just make their day.

For more information about helping seniors living full and healthy lives, please contact (480) 827-4343

- See more at: https://www.homeinstead.com/195/blog/to-market-to-market#sthash.qwQhtaDR.dpuf

Tips For Reinventing Yourself As You Age

TIPS FOR REINVENTING YOURSELF AS YOU AGE

It’s never too late to find a new career, a new sport, passion or hobby.

The numbers of people over 45 is growing every year. People are hoping to stay active and vibrant as long as possible. There are over 76 million baby boomers today over 50, and the first of the 82.1 million Generation X-ers are about to reach that milestone in 2015. To get you started on re-inventing yourself, here are 5 tips from Healthy Aging Magazine:

1. Do not act your age or at least what you think your current age should act like. What was your best year so far? 27? 41? Now? Picture yourself at that age and simply be it.
2. Be positive in your conversations and your actions every day. When you catch yourself complaining, stop, take a moment and change the conversation to something positive.
3. Have negative friends who complain all of the time and constantly talk about how awful everything is? Drop them. As cruel as that may sound, distance yourself from people who do not have a positive outlook on life. They will only get you down and stop your growth.
4. Walk like a vibrant, healthy person. Make a conscious effort to take big strides, walk with your heel first and wear comfortable shoes.
5. Stand up straight. You can knock off the appearance of a few extra years with this trick your mother kept trying to tell you. Fix your stance and practice it every day. You will look great and feel better.

What tips do you have? Or do you have a story to share about what you do to stay motivated to be the best version of yourself?

Visit us online @ http://www.brightstarcare.com/

Need Assistance Getting Up and Down Stairs? Check Out Harmar's Pinnacle Stair Lift in Tempe Arizona!

Need Assistance Getting Up and Down the Stairs? Check Out Harmar’s Pinnacle Stair Lift in Tempe AZ

As we age it can get a little harder to do things and get around, especially if you have an illness or disease process, or suffered an unforeseen injury. When you aren’t able to get around your home as easily anymore or are trying to prepare for the future there are a lot of options available to help make your home more safe and accessible. If you have a multiple story home you love and want to stay in for as long as possible a great option to help you get up and down the stairs is getting a stair lift.

Now I am sure a lot of people have seen commercials for these or heard about them on the radio. They are a great addition to any home where you have stairs that go to multiple levels. One of the top of the line stair lifts on the market today is Harmar’s Pinnacle Stair Lift. Let’s take a look at the variety of benefits and features that make the Pinnacle stair lift stand out from the rest.

The Pinnacle is the true essence of an affordable and necessary luxury. The slimmest and most light-weight stair lift on the market, it folds to take just 11” of staircase width. Although exceptionally compact, Pinnacle boasts a 350lb (160 kg) capacity with a wide, comfortable seat that swivels at the top landing to aid in safely entering and exiting the lift.

• Narrowest stair lift in the industry – only 11” wide when footrest and seat are folded!
• Lightest unit on the market – entire system weighs only 180 lbs installed (including 16’ of track)
• Swivel seat at upper landing, for easy and safe, entry and exit
• Easy operating controls and indicator lights
• Patented helical worm gear drive system for extremely smooth ride
• Operable in a power outage – up to 40 trips!
• Comfortable seat with height adjustment
• Safety sensors will stop the lift if it meets an obstruction
• No greases or lubricants; easy to vacuum and keep clean
• 3-Year warranty on components, 10-Year on gear rack, 1-Year on batteries
• Easy, 1 person installation (Harmar recommends that all stair lifts are professionally installed)

This is the perfect option if you are looking for a safe and easy way to get up and down your stairs with the least amount of hassle. Here at ADL Solutions we can professionally install this stair lift into your home and help put your mind and your family’s mind at ease. ADL Solutions is a preferred provider of Harmar products. We are located in Tempe AZ but service the entire state of Arizona to meet the growing needs of the community. Call our office to schedule an assessment with one of our trained staff to evaluate your home setting so we can provide you with the best solution. So when you need assistance getting up and down your stairs and you want something that will be able to assist you safely check out the Harmar Pinnacle stair lift in Tempe AZ.

Click here for more information.