Caring for a spouse, parent or other relative no doubt has its
rewards. You have the opportunity to build a deep connection with a loved one
and care for someone who perhaps once cared for you.
B
ut caregiving also involves great sacrifices that can range
from time to money to your personal health. If you neglect your own physical,
mental and financial well-being, you may become unable to continue caring for
your loved one. That benefits no one.
So how can you avoid
self-neglect or take steps to reduce it? We recently asked members of the
CaregiversStress.com® community on the
web and on Facebook
to talk about the sacrifices they have made in order to become caregivers. Their responses about self-neglect provide inspiration for these tips to avoid it.
1. Make Time for Yourself
"My husband was told he had MS in 2001. I went to work to support us until he started falling down in 2006. I became his caretaker. I have had just 48 hours off in the 10 years since then.
That is it. What to do?
--Kayo
If you struggle to find time for yourself, try asking other
family members and friends for help. Sometimes caregivers hesitate to reach out
because they believe others will reject their request for assistance. But you
never know until you ask.
Other sources of caregiving
help that can provide you with needed respite include professional services
like Home Instead Senior Care®[http://www.homeinstead.com],
faith communities and some charitable organizations.
2.
Make Your Own Health a Priority
“Recently
I've had to go to two doctors, call EMS once, go to ER in hypertensive crisis,
and to chiropractor to adjust the pain in my back and leg.”
– Theresa W.
Many people find they sacrifice their health when they become
caregivers. When all of your time goes to tending your loved one’s needs, how
can you get to the doctor yourself?
Always remember you cannot serve from an empty well. If you
neglect your own health, you might eventually find yourself unable to care for
your loved one. Thus, you must make your own well-being a priority as well.
Consider enlisting a family member or a professional caregiver
to care for your loved one for a half-day so you can keep your routine medical
appointments. You owe it to yourself.
3.
Research Financial Resources
“[I
gave up] my personal job. We had to give up our home and move into an RV just
outside of my mother’s house.”
– Melissa P.
Caregiving can place a substantial financial burden on
caregivers. Some find they must shoulder all of the costs of care because their
loved one lacks the financial means. Other times, caregiving requires so great
a time investment that the family caregiver has no time for a job.
If you find yourself heading
toward financial trouble due to your role as a caregiver, investigate available
resources and programs. Low-income seniors, veterans and others who require
care may qualify for free day programs or direct financial assistance. A good
place to begin your search for resources is your local Area
Agency on Aging [http://www.n4a.org/].
4.
Take Baby Steps to Re-Engage with Life
“I
am having trouble trying to re-engage. I did go to a painting class and can't
seem to find the way back.”
– Sandy M.
It can be hard to shift your focus back to self-care and
re-integration with life after spending months or years as a caregiver. Try to
keep in mind you did not become a caregiver overnight, and getting back to your
other life also will take time and require baby steps. Enrolling in a painting
class or another activity is a good starting point. Even if the activity
doesn’t feel the same as it did before you became a caregiver, give it time and
keep trying.
If, after a period of time, you still find yourself struggling
to define a personal life for yourself, consider seeking counseling with a
mental health professional.
5.
Keep an Optimistic Perspective
“At
27 years old I gave up a budding career, a new life in a new home in a new
city, and my social life to move to the middle of nowhere and become a
full-time caregiver. However, my experience in caregiving for my grandmother
who has been paralyzed and lost all speech function due to a stroke has been a
blessing I never asked for. I've been able to spend quality time with the
people who matter most in my life. My relationships are stronger, both family
and personal. It's all about perspective.”
– Erika L.
Maintaining a positive outlook about caregiving can help you
avoid burnout and self-neglect. No doubt it can be difficult to find
perspective, though, when you’ve been providing full-time care for years, or
even decades. If you find you no longer can see anything positive in your
caregiving life, it might be a sign you need to seek help.
Consider enlisting friends or professional caregivers to provide
respite care on a regular basis so you can indulge in luxuries as small as a
long, hot bath or as large as a weekend getaway. And if your caregiving
sacrifices make you feel depressed, consider seeking help from a mental health
professional.
The caregiving burden can cause isolation and self-neglect for
family caregivers, and that doesn’t benefit anybody. Fortunately, you can
employ the strategies here to carve out time to tend to your own needs. This
may help keep you healthy and able to care for your loved one for a long time
to come.
